I have much to learn

Lately I've been seeking God and His word on the church. I don't think we are following the examples given us by the disciples. I don't think we understand the importance of relationship and how that fits into "church". Sometimes I just want to drop out and do things the way I think they should be done.

It's at these times that I begin to hear a small whisper that tells me to take a step back. It's these times when someone comes up to me and says "maybe you don't need the church but maybe the church needs you". It's at this point that while having a dialogue with my sister about church she indicates to me that I start to sound all knowing. It's during these times that I begin to see that I have much to learn.

While I will never stop questioning, I need to do it from a position of humility. While I still will not accept the answer "that's the way it's always been done". I will not condemn something just because it has been done a certain way for years. I will realize we are not all the same but will still strive to lead by example to all those in my sphere of influence. As my pastor put it "I don't have to save the world, that was taken care of by Jesus".

So God I ask you to give me your wisdom, grace and love but also the continuing desire to seek the truth wherever that may take me. Guide me as I travel this path you have me on, not knowing where I'm going. Always be thankful for those who have taken on the challenge of guiding your people and never be a hindrance to them. It's from all of your imperfect people, I being more imperfect than many, that I can learn so much.