Being unique

Where I live people seem to have accepted mediocrity. The level or quality of work around here is poor but people seem to just look the other way rather than ask for more. I think parents have also gotten use to accepting mediocrity from their kids. We tend to raise our kids to fit the standard norms. Don't be too weird, don't dress different or call attention to yourself. But I have to wonder is that God's plan? Hasn't God made us in His image? I don't believe there is a cookie cutter in Heaven where people are made like carbon copies one after another. God has given each of us our own uniqueness, our own kwirks and gifts. We all aren't made to be athletes or musicians. We all aren't designed to go to college or to be pastors. We are individuals with our own abilities and passions.

For too long parents have tried to mold their kids into what they think the kids should be without really looking at the talents of their kids. Parents want their kids to "fit in". If being "normal" is such a great thing why is society in the shape it's in? If fitting in means conforming to the ways of this world than I say it's better to be non-conforming. What are the redeeming values in society today? It's hard to find many but if you did the opposite of what most people do you may be astonished what God does in your life.

Take a few chances. Step out of the norm. Follow God's call for your life wherever that may lead.

I have much to learn

Lately I've been seeking God and His word on the church. I don't think we are following the examples given us by the disciples. I don't think we understand the importance of relationship and how that fits into "church". Sometimes I just want to drop out and do things the way I think they should be done.

It's at these times that I begin to hear a small whisper that tells me to take a step back. It's these times when someone comes up to me and says "maybe you don't need the church but maybe the church needs you". It's at this point that while having a dialogue with my sister about church she indicates to me that I start to sound all knowing. It's during these times that I begin to see that I have much to learn.

While I will never stop questioning, I need to do it from a position of humility. While I still will not accept the answer "that's the way it's always been done". I will not condemn something just because it has been done a certain way for years. I will realize we are not all the same but will still strive to lead by example to all those in my sphere of influence. As my pastor put it "I don't have to save the world, that was taken care of by Jesus".

So God I ask you to give me your wisdom, grace and love but also the continuing desire to seek the truth wherever that may take me. Guide me as I travel this path you have me on, not knowing where I'm going. Always be thankful for those who have taken on the challenge of guiding your people and never be a hindrance to them. It's from all of your imperfect people, I being more imperfect than many, that I can learn so much.

It may not be what you think

My wife's father is 90 and having some heart trouble. He has finally had to go into a skilled nursing facility 1500 miles from where we live. This has put stress on my wife and her siblings who live by her Dad. One of the biggest struggles they are having is where he should stay and who is in charge. While we all want what is the best for him there is an elephant in the room no one wants to see.

My father-in-law won't be around much longer and his quality of life has gone downhill but he hangs in there, why? Is his illness just a straight forward event or is there more to this? I believe God wants to use his sickness for a greater purpose. My wife and the rest of her family have never been very close and they relate to each other in a very superficial manner. I think this whole experience is to bring about trust, grace, patience and love among the family.

God in His infinite wisdom sees what we can't. He can use any circumstance to teach, guide or heal us if we allow Him. Maybe this isn't about an old man's death but about the growth in his kids towards each other and their Creator.

But we look good

Looking out my back window this morning I was watching a group of women golfers teeing it up on the par 3 behind our house. One gal in particular caught my attention. She had the standard golf attire with the visor, shoes, blouse and golf skirt. She teed the ball up and then stood behind it to get her line of where she wanted to hit it. She took a few nice looking practice swings and then approached the ball to hit. She took a mighty swing at the ball and it flew about 40 yards into the pond. You could tell she had no idea what the problem was.

It seems our Christian life so often is like that. We have our Bible, we attend church, we join a small group, we may even serve in some other way on the side. From the outside we look like a functioning Christian but then something goes wrong. We stumble or our kids get into trouble or our marriage falls apart. How could that happen, we were doing all the right things?

Like our golfer, there is more to Christianity then how we look. Christianity is not about how much we serve (although that is important), it's not about the Bible we have or how many times we make it to church. Christianity is about what Jesus has placed in our hearts. It's not rules and appearance it's surrender, sacrifice and becoming Christ-like. It's what we do when only God will know. It's taking what we have learned from the Bible and actually putting it into practice.

Our golfers problem was not her appearance, her swing or her golf knowledge. Her problem was a head problem. She couldn't transfer her book knowledge into actual practice. There are so many that know scripture but fail to put that knowledge into practice. Jesus looks at our heart not our Bible version. He looks at our walk and not our talk.

Building your Marriage Ark

Thousands of years ago Noah began building an ark for an impending flood. Never mind that he had never seen the rain or that it would take decades to complete. He was ridiculed, mocked and was probably considered a nut. He was preparing for a catastrophe even though he had no reason to believe one would occur except that God told him it would.

We should take the same preparation in our marriages. Even if you've never had an argument or slight misunderstanding (really?) we all know a marriage catastrophe is coming. Listen to those who have been down the road a bit and they will tell you storm clouds are on the horizon.

Take heed, listen and prepare. Have a mentor couple that you can go to in time of crisis. Take classes and attend marriage seminars. Read books or join a marriage small group. All these can build your marriage ark to keep you and your family safe from the ravages of a storm.

Serving God while losing Him?

I am guilty, as I think many are, of trying to serve God but not growing in Him. We keep ourselves busy helping others, serving in ministry and fellowshipping with fellow believers. But while we are serving the Kingdom we forget about our quiet time with Him. What good does it do us to help others but lose our relationship with the One that makes it all possible? God never placed ministry above our relationship with Him or our families. Get back to basics and place God first and your spouse next. Everything else will fall in place.

Secret to a lasting marriage

There are thousands of books on how to have a better marriage. Follow this formula,read this article or find a new spouse. In reality the answer is much simpler but maybe harder to do. It's realizing marriage is not the ultimate goal it is just a step in our journey to heaven.

Marriage is not the end of fun, not the end of spontaneity, or the end of one’s freedom. Marriage if done right is the beginning to living our life as God designed it. It is learning to sacrifice for others, love someone when you may not like them at that moment, its learning patience and forgiveness for the inevitable hurts you will endure. Marriage is giving up your life for your spouse and kids. Marriage is seeking help from a source greater than your own. Marriage is of this world and temporary. What we learn and the relationship we develop with God during our marriage is eternal.

It is not the marriage relationship that is the problem it’s the God relationship that needs to be worked on. In working on our relationships with God we will improve our marriages.