My wife's father is 90 and having some heart trouble. He has finally had to go into a skilled nursing facility 1500 miles from where we live. This has put stress on my wife and her siblings who live by her Dad. One of the biggest struggles they are having is where he should stay and who is in charge. While we all want what is the best for him there is an elephant in the room no one wants to see.
My father-in-law won't be around much longer and his quality of life has gone downhill but he hangs in there, why? Is his illness just a straight forward event or is there more to this? I believe God wants to use his sickness for a greater purpose. My wife and the rest of her family have never been very close and they relate to each other in a very superficial manner. I think this whole experience is to bring about trust, grace, patience and love among the family.
God in His infinite wisdom sees what we can't. He can use any circumstance to teach, guide or heal us if we allow Him. Maybe this isn't about an old man's death but about the growth in his kids towards each other and their Creator.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
But we look good
Looking out my back window this morning I was watching a group of women golfers teeing it up on the par 3 behind our house. One gal in particular caught my attention. She had the standard golf attire with the visor, shoes, blouse and golf skirt. She teed the ball up and then stood behind it to get her line of where she wanted to hit it. She took a few nice looking practice swings and then approached the ball to hit. She took a mighty swing at the ball and it flew about 40 yards into the pond. You could tell she had no idea what the problem was.
It seems our Christian life so often is like that. We have our Bible, we attend church, we join a small group, we may even serve in some other way on the side. From the outside we look like a functioning Christian but then something goes wrong. We stumble or our kids get into trouble or our marriage falls apart. How could that happen, we were doing all the right things?
Like our golfer, there is more to Christianity then how we look. Christianity is not about how much we serve (although that is important), it's not about the Bible we have or how many times we make it to church. Christianity is about what Jesus has placed in our hearts. It's not rules and appearance it's surrender, sacrifice and becoming Christ-like. It's what we do when only God will know. It's taking what we have learned from the Bible and actually putting it into practice.
Our golfers problem was not her appearance, her swing or her golf knowledge. Her problem was a head problem. She couldn't transfer her book knowledge into actual practice. There are so many that know scripture but fail to put that knowledge into practice. Jesus looks at our heart not our Bible version. He looks at our walk and not our talk.
It seems our Christian life so often is like that. We have our Bible, we attend church, we join a small group, we may even serve in some other way on the side. From the outside we look like a functioning Christian but then something goes wrong. We stumble or our kids get into trouble or our marriage falls apart. How could that happen, we were doing all the right things?
Like our golfer, there is more to Christianity then how we look. Christianity is not about how much we serve (although that is important), it's not about the Bible we have or how many times we make it to church. Christianity is about what Jesus has placed in our hearts. It's not rules and appearance it's surrender, sacrifice and becoming Christ-like. It's what we do when only God will know. It's taking what we have learned from the Bible and actually putting it into practice.
Our golfers problem was not her appearance, her swing or her golf knowledge. Her problem was a head problem. She couldn't transfer her book knowledge into actual practice. There are so many that know scripture but fail to put that knowledge into practice. Jesus looks at our heart not our Bible version. He looks at our walk and not our talk.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Building your Marriage Ark
Thousands of years ago Noah began building an ark for an impending flood. Never mind that he had never seen the rain or that it would take decades to complete. He was ridiculed, mocked and was probably considered a nut. He was preparing for a catastrophe even though he had no reason to believe one would occur except that God told him it would.
We should take the same preparation in our marriages. Even if you've never had an argument or slight misunderstanding (really?) we all know a marriage catastrophe is coming. Listen to those who have been down the road a bit and they will tell you storm clouds are on the horizon.
Take heed, listen and prepare. Have a mentor couple that you can go to in time of crisis. Take classes and attend marriage seminars. Read books or join a marriage small group. All these can build your marriage ark to keep you and your family safe from the ravages of a storm.
We should take the same preparation in our marriages. Even if you've never had an argument or slight misunderstanding (really?) we all know a marriage catastrophe is coming. Listen to those who have been down the road a bit and they will tell you storm clouds are on the horizon.
Take heed, listen and prepare. Have a mentor couple that you can go to in time of crisis. Take classes and attend marriage seminars. Read books or join a marriage small group. All these can build your marriage ark to keep you and your family safe from the ravages of a storm.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Serving God while losing Him?
I am guilty, as I think many are, of trying to serve God but not growing in Him. We keep ourselves busy helping others, serving in ministry and fellowshipping with fellow believers. But while we are serving the Kingdom we forget about our quiet time with Him. What good does it do us to help others but lose our relationship with the One that makes it all possible? God never placed ministry above our relationship with Him or our families. Get back to basics and place God first and your spouse next. Everything else will fall in place.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Secret to a lasting marriage
There are thousands of books on how to have a better marriage. Follow this formula,read this article or find a new spouse. In reality the answer is much simpler but maybe harder to do. It's realizing marriage is not the ultimate goal it is just a step in our journey to heaven.
Marriage is not the end of fun, not the end of spontaneity, or the end of one’s freedom. Marriage if done right is the beginning to living our life as God designed it. It is learning to sacrifice for others, love someone when you may not like them at that moment, its learning patience and forgiveness for the inevitable hurts you will endure. Marriage is giving up your life for your spouse and kids. Marriage is seeking help from a source greater than your own. Marriage is of this world and temporary. What we learn and the relationship we develop with God during our marriage is eternal.
It is not the marriage relationship that is the problem it’s the God relationship that needs to be worked on. In working on our relationships with God we will improve our marriages.
Marriage is not the end of fun, not the end of spontaneity, or the end of one’s freedom. Marriage if done right is the beginning to living our life as God designed it. It is learning to sacrifice for others, love someone when you may not like them at that moment, its learning patience and forgiveness for the inevitable hurts you will endure. Marriage is giving up your life for your spouse and kids. Marriage is seeking help from a source greater than your own. Marriage is of this world and temporary. What we learn and the relationship we develop with God during our marriage is eternal.
It is not the marriage relationship that is the problem it’s the God relationship that needs to be worked on. In working on our relationships with God we will improve our marriages.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Making sense of a senseless death
Yesterday we attended a large memorial service. The church where the service was held was filled to capacity. There were almost one thousand messages to Jason on a memorial site that was set up a week ago on Facebook. Jason was not famous, rich or politically connected. He didn’t accumulate a large number of friends over a long life. He wasn’t an owner of a business or from a well-connected family. So, what made him so special?
He was a 39 year old father of two that was under paid, worked hard and loved music. He was a perfectionist. He gave of himself and was the worship pastor of a local church. One other thing to know about Jason, he had fought a battle within himself for years and last week committed suicide.
We did not personally know him but through his music found great inspiration and could sense his love of the Lord. We enjoyed his music so much that we debated switching churches just because of him. The messages on Facebook show his capacity to ignite a whole segment of people across three churches and fifteen years. Jason brought people to Christ. Through his songs you could feel the love and compassion that our savior has for us but sadly Jason apparently could not feel those things. He would pour his soul into his music and sing of God’s greatness and all the while he was in the fight for his life. We had no idea of his struggles and I’m sure that’s how he wanted it. But now he has left a void not only in our Christian family but also in his earthly family.
So how do we make sense of tragedies like this? How can someone become so despondent that the only way out seems to be death? Add to that that he was a child of God and it’s even harder to imagine. Is this how a follower of Christ is rewarded? Is this any different than if he wasn’t a believer? There are some things that happen that we can never understand. A child is killed by a drunk driver, a spouse commits adultery or gets hooked on drugs. Where do we go for the answers?
Death is meaningless unless looked at through the eyes of a Christian and Christianity doesn’t make much sense without the reality of heaven. The reason we suffer, endure, love and forgive is not to bring us acclaim here on earth but to help us grow and guide others on our way to eternity. If there is no heaven how can any of this make sense? We also need to remember that we can’t do this on our own. We need guidance which comes from the Holy Spirit. It is a constant daily renewal of our minds by reading Gods word.
If nothing else maybe Jason’s death is a wakeup call to those of us still standing on this planet. Maybe Jason is screaming out to us that life is short and precious! None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Yesterday is done and all we have is today. It’s called the present because it is a gift from God to be unwrapped and opened. Every day we are to enjoy this gift and be thankful that we have another day to be with our loved ones. We become so consumed with the day to day minutia that we often don’t take the time to enjoy the blessings we are given each day. What are we willing to give up if we knew that tomorrow or next week or next month we or our spouse or son or daughter would be gone forever? Would we give up work, our home or our precious time for just one more hour or one more day with our departed? We can’t let this world consume us. Each day we all are one day closer to the end and none of us know the date of that final day.
The memorial today was amazing. The singing, the music and the tributes. His ten year old daughter sang a song to her dad. It was a celebration, for now Jason was finally free to be the man God had intended.
When put into perspective does it really matter who wins the next election or the Super Bowl or what car we drive? Think about what is really important. Does someone need to die before we tell them they are special? Does someone need to die before we stop thinking about ourselves? Pray for Jason’s family and remember Jason is probably singing the most beautiful songs he has ever sung. His demons are gone and he is at peace. Don’t weep for him but be joyful as he sits with Christ and waits for the time when he will be reunited with his family. I’m sure this is how he would want to be remembered.
He was a 39 year old father of two that was under paid, worked hard and loved music. He was a perfectionist. He gave of himself and was the worship pastor of a local church. One other thing to know about Jason, he had fought a battle within himself for years and last week committed suicide.
We did not personally know him but through his music found great inspiration and could sense his love of the Lord. We enjoyed his music so much that we debated switching churches just because of him. The messages on Facebook show his capacity to ignite a whole segment of people across three churches and fifteen years. Jason brought people to Christ. Through his songs you could feel the love and compassion that our savior has for us but sadly Jason apparently could not feel those things. He would pour his soul into his music and sing of God’s greatness and all the while he was in the fight for his life. We had no idea of his struggles and I’m sure that’s how he wanted it. But now he has left a void not only in our Christian family but also in his earthly family.
So how do we make sense of tragedies like this? How can someone become so despondent that the only way out seems to be death? Add to that that he was a child of God and it’s even harder to imagine. Is this how a follower of Christ is rewarded? Is this any different than if he wasn’t a believer? There are some things that happen that we can never understand. A child is killed by a drunk driver, a spouse commits adultery or gets hooked on drugs. Where do we go for the answers?
Death is meaningless unless looked at through the eyes of a Christian and Christianity doesn’t make much sense without the reality of heaven. The reason we suffer, endure, love and forgive is not to bring us acclaim here on earth but to help us grow and guide others on our way to eternity. If there is no heaven how can any of this make sense? We also need to remember that we can’t do this on our own. We need guidance which comes from the Holy Spirit. It is a constant daily renewal of our minds by reading Gods word.
If nothing else maybe Jason’s death is a wakeup call to those of us still standing on this planet. Maybe Jason is screaming out to us that life is short and precious! None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Yesterday is done and all we have is today. It’s called the present because it is a gift from God to be unwrapped and opened. Every day we are to enjoy this gift and be thankful that we have another day to be with our loved ones. We become so consumed with the day to day minutia that we often don’t take the time to enjoy the blessings we are given each day. What are we willing to give up if we knew that tomorrow or next week or next month we or our spouse or son or daughter would be gone forever? Would we give up work, our home or our precious time for just one more hour or one more day with our departed? We can’t let this world consume us. Each day we all are one day closer to the end and none of us know the date of that final day.
The memorial today was amazing. The singing, the music and the tributes. His ten year old daughter sang a song to her dad. It was a celebration, for now Jason was finally free to be the man God had intended.
When put into perspective does it really matter who wins the next election or the Super Bowl or what car we drive? Think about what is really important. Does someone need to die before we tell them they are special? Does someone need to die before we stop thinking about ourselves? Pray for Jason’s family and remember Jason is probably singing the most beautiful songs he has ever sung. His demons are gone and he is at peace. Don’t weep for him but be joyful as he sits with Christ and waits for the time when he will be reunited with his family. I’m sure this is how he would want to be remembered.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Dad's Day
This weekend most of us will be thinking about our Dads. Some will send a card or make a call. Others will take Dad out to eat or golfing. Unfortunately some will not have any good thoughts about their Dad. He was either absent, abusive or just not involved. While we spend Fathers Day usually thinking about our Dads perhaps we should change our focus.
The majority of us are Dads or will be Dads in the future. Instead of focusing on the past and our Dads maybe we should focus on the future and what kind of a Dad we are or will be. What will our kids think about us on future Dad Days?
We all will leave a legacy whether we like it or not. Some will be good and some not so good. What will your legacy be? Will the kids want to spend Fathers Day with you or will they hope they don't have to see or talk to you? Will they have anything in common with you or will you be a stranger? Will their own marriages be solid because of the time you invested in yours and will they thank you for it?.
This Fathers Day, give your Dad props if you want. Take him to lunch or a game but also look at your life. Five, ten or twenty years from now what will YOUR kids think when Fathers Day comes around?
The majority of us are Dads or will be Dads in the future. Instead of focusing on the past and our Dads maybe we should focus on the future and what kind of a Dad we are or will be. What will our kids think about us on future Dad Days?
We all will leave a legacy whether we like it or not. Some will be good and some not so good. What will your legacy be? Will the kids want to spend Fathers Day with you or will they hope they don't have to see or talk to you? Will they have anything in common with you or will you be a stranger? Will their own marriages be solid because of the time you invested in yours and will they thank you for it?.
This Fathers Day, give your Dad props if you want. Take him to lunch or a game but also look at your life. Five, ten or twenty years from now what will YOUR kids think when Fathers Day comes around?
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